When I wasn't looking, she took more steps

Here is Ellie showing signs of regressing by staying in my arms for most of my Grandmother's 90th birthday party. She has a big smile on her face because she loves to pose for the camera, and she loves people. Large crowds make her nervous, she's been in hotels, changed 4 time zones and frankly doesn't know where she'll be when she next wakes up.



Every time we travel or have company: two things that throw Ellie's world out of sync, her behavior regresses. Typically she stops sitting at the table in her own chair for meals. She will only eat on my lap. This gets old really quick, and causes my legs to fall asleep! The other thing she stops doing well is sleeping. Staying up late, or waking often in the night are typical behavior patterns when we travel and have company. I love coffee, so I survive with a little extra Joe. She goes back to sleeping peacefully through the night after a week or so.

Of course, I forget this little tid bit each time we have company. It's more obvious to me when we all head out of Dodge, than it is when we stay put and just add people. For instance, the last time Grammy and Pop Pops visited, Ellie spent the weekend on my lap for every meal, stayed up late, woke up often and early every day.

But, this past weekend we had a HUGE breakthrough. Ellie's Uncle Dave visited from Alaska. She hasn't seen him in 6 months. She not only slept her regular schedule, sat in her chair for every meal, but also started talking more!! Woo Hoo!! Go Ellie! That was the weekend of "I Want Popcorn" and "I want Pauper". I am so proud of my little girl. She continues to amaze me.

One Giant Leap for Ellie Kind

Holy Canoli. I was banking on a whole 'nother year of Ellie being afraid to step across and down the threshold of our front door to the porch outside. It's a pretty big leap for a tiny girl who has low muscle tone and rather weak core muscles.

Spring blooms eternal though in my garden, and it beckons to young and old alike. Last weekend I was more than a little surprised to see my cheerful little girl staring back at me from the other side of my storm door. The cat was quite pleased with his new best friend who helped him escape.

Now my dear husband has a new project on his to-do list: alarms and locks for the doors.

Make New Friends, But Keep the Old.....

One is silver, and the other Gold.

I remember this saying from when I was a child, and my best friend moved away. My mom tried to comfort me with this pithy saying. It didn't really work, but I did work at making new friends to fill the hole in my heart left by my first best friend. Making new friends has been a big part of my life as I've moved around many times as an adult. However, thanks to the wonders of technology I've had the pleasure of reconnecting with my "old" friends from days gone past: childhood and high school. What a sweet pleasure. Like savoring a delicious morsel of chocolate, or a good wine, visiting online and even in person with friends I've known since High School, Jr. High, and even Elementary School has been an incredible treat.

As I said in my last post, I love technology. Through the wonders of Facebook and email I have reconnected with a whole host of old friends, and kept in touch with new friends that I don't see anymore due to moving across the globe (5,000 miles from Alaska to VA). Each week Facebook reminds me that I went to high school with these other wonderful people, and wouldn't I like to be friends with them? Of course I would. The last time I was in touch with many of these friends we were like chrysalis: we had a shell around us to protect our developing persona from the harsh realities of life. Graduation was the chance for our butterfly form to escape from that shell. What sort of butterflies would we become? Would we be the same as adults that we were as children? Would life's adventures change us, and if so, how? What would life be like as we stretched our wings and took flight for the first time?

It's years later, and our wings are a little tired now. We have stories to tell, and some of us have war stories too. Some friends have spent time in Desert Storm, and some in the Iraq War, and a few in both. Some have been to Afghanistan, some have served in the Peace Corps. Some have become Doctors or nurses, lawyers or judges, or fabulous interior decorators to the stars. Some of us are married, some of us are married again. Many, but not all, of us have children. A few are grandparents. Some of us have moved around the country, and some have never left home. Several are openly gay. I am very proud to call them ALL my friends.

When we were in High School it was very clique-y. If you saw The Breakfast Club, you know what I mean. But those years apart as we spread our wings and made our own ways into the world have erased those stereotypes. We are all friends now with the common ties that bind of our collective soul of high school and thankfully time, and maybe a little booze, has erased some of those painful memories, like scars which fade with time. The shared joys and pains of adulthood bind us now.

Technology is Good

I finally got on Face book - about a month ago. It's been a neat trip back in time. I have started to find old High School Friends. One of the most amazing things happened too. I found an old friend, she's been married as long as me, her child is in 4th grade (like my son), her husband works in the same town as mine, and we live 8 miles apart. Which is about 300 miles from our high school. Go figure!

She's off to a vacation destination for spring break. I am off to "home" and visiting with 4 other friends I reconnected with on Facebook. We'll catch up for coffee after spring break. I love technology!

Favorite Color is .......

Ellie has told me what her favorite color is! Since mine is pink, I always dress her in that, but I did buy a few purple shirts and capri combos for spring. Well, I dressed her in that yesterday and she got SO EXCITED and tried to say "Purple" while she signed it, and signed each peice of clothing too. So, purple shirt, purple pants (they are a purple/turq/brown plaid) they sound awful but they are cute if you don't ask her brother's opinion. And then she got really excited by the purple socks!

I was guessing this might be her fav. She has requested and repeatedly watched Signing Times My Favorite Things. It has a great song "Do You Know the Colors of the Rainbow?" Ellie signs to the song and all the colors. Till recently she only tried to say blue. Over the last two weeks she has been trying to say purple and with a big smile on her face too! So, the verdict is in. Favorite Color: Purple!

Not a Joke

(This post was supposed to have the Date April 1 - guess blogger is having an April Fool's Joke on me)

Happy April Fool's Day. This is not a joke though. On March 27, 2009 an elected official in his official capacity - that is through a regular communication with his constituents - violated the First Amendment Rights of a private citizen with whom he disagrees politically. More importantly - that citizen called Doogan on the carpet for treating his constituents so rudely and he/she used Doogan's own words. No paraphrasing, no embellishment, the blogger just used Doogan's own stinking words.

I try to keep this blog about non-political topics, but when First Amendment Rights are violated - I get incensed. No. I get ANGRY! As an American citizen, I cherish my Rights. I thank the men and women in uniform who are willing to risk their lives to protect my freedoms. And I mean this. As much as I completely disagree with his point of view (completely and vicerally) - I will defend to the end Rush Limbaugh's right to spew his filth over the airwaves.

So today's post is about my favorite blog, blogger, and blogging community: The Mudflats, written by AK Muckraker and supported by thousands of anonymoose, pj clad, coffee drinking (or your beverage of choice) Mud Puppies all over the globe (just look at the Flats' webmap on his/her sidebar). AK Muckraker, commonly abbreviated to AKM, is a psuedonym. Writing under a psuedonym is protected by the Constitution. See Supreme Court, 1995, McIntyre v. Ohio Elections Commission, which says (in part):

Protections for anonymous speech are vital to democratic discourse. Allowing dissenters to shield their identities frees them to express critical, minority views . . . Anonymity is a shield from the tyranny of the majority. It thus exemplifies the purpose of the Bill of Rights, and of the first amendment in particular: to protect unpopular individuals from retaliation.

I love the Constitution, and I have at least 4 copies in my house - yes I am a poli sci geek. I have read (and own copies of) the well-known Common Sense (written anonymously by Thomas Paine) and his lesser known Rights of Man, The Crisis, and The Age of Reason. The Federalist Papers (written anonymously, under the psuedonym Publius, by John Jay, James Madison, and Alexander Hamilton) were crucial to turning public opinion in New York State where ratification of the Constitution was questionable. Anonymous speech is vital to a healthy democracy.

The scariest thing to me about this outing is that it was done by an elected official in the capacity for which he was elected to serve. And then, the previously anonymous commentator at the local newspaper (The Anchorage Daily News columnist known locally as The Alaska Ear) condones this forcible outing. And in reporting the news, the news paper continues the forcible outing by posting the name of the anonymoose blogger. Holy Canoli! What The Fusillli?? To make an analogy, we have the bully of the middle school who has decided he doesn't like how the geek (who always breaks the curve because he/she actually studies and knows all the facts and does his/her homework) has made him look bad USING HIS OWN WORDS. So he's decided to make an object lesson out of the geek. Thankfully our geek has some real intestinal fortitude and didn't back down. Nay, our geek came back stronger than ever!

That's all I'm going to say right now, because I start fuming and then I have to start counting to 100. For those of you who are as upset as I am - karma is a good thing. This is what urban dictionary has to say about Doogan.

One Big Step Today

On the gross motor evaluations is that question, "Can your child kick a ball?" This is one of those items on a long list of items, that I logically know Ellie will acheive, but emotionally I wonder, "When?"

Today I got that answer. As she walked home from the bus stop she signed "ball". I reminded her that it was raining. "We can play with the red ball inside." A big smile, and a signed "yes" was Ellie's reply. I thought to myself, "Life is good when we can have some two-way communication," and I said a little thank-you prayer to Rachel Coleman and the Signing Time crew. As soon as we got inside Ellie made a bee-line for the red ball. This is one of our many therapy balls that are ginormous. This one is slightly smaller, with a diameter of about 18 inches. It's a great size for kids.

Ellie giggled and tossed the ball in front of her as she roamed around the house. Then she came over to me in the kitchen with her red ball. A big grin spread across her face. I asked her if she wanted me to play ball with her. That big grin grew even bigger.

We headed into the living room where there is some space to play back and forth with a ball. Thankfully I haven't decorated yet. The living room is no longer decorated in early Playskool. Right now we are 'between styles', or perhaps it's early "Gregorian Monk." In any event, there's really nothing breakable. So, that means, time to set a bad precedent! I thought we were going to roll the ball back and forth like we've done so many other times. But, Ellie had a new trick up her sleeve. She kicked the ball back to me. I mean really kicked: stood and balanced on one leg, wound up the other leg and made great contact with the ball sending it OFF! And she giggled that belly rolling contagious, I-don't-care-how-grumpy-you-are-you-can't-help-but-laugh-along giggle!

I can't think of a better way to spend a rainy afternoon. Now we have one more item checked off that end-less list of "she'll-do-it-in-her-own-time-milestones".

Signs of Spring

Wow - 13 robins all at once, eating the worms in my yard. They sure do love the drain field :) Wonder if they grow larger from eating over there???

We've had all sorts of wonderful winter birds with the Christmas additions of two bird feeders. Now we have the beginnings of our spring birds.

Happy Vernal Equinox!

To Whom it may concern

There is one area that I could be updating and that is the open letter to whoever would be entrusted with caring for the kids. In that letter I should describe what Ellie's days are like. Well, and her nights too. How do we comfort her when she is sad. What are her favorite foods, movies, books, games, activities, songs, toys, friends, stuffed animals and of course, don't ever forget a blankie.

We sign a lot with her, and so when I give her a bath I sing some of her favorite songs while I wash her hair. Believe it or not it helps us get through hair washing without tears. I did write this letter about 2 years ago, but I think it needs updating. We were still in Alaska and ellie hadn't learned how to walk yet, let alone learn over 300 signs. She wasn't standing up for a "shower" when she gets her hair washed, but playing in bubble bath for the first half of the bath. She wasn't going potty before her bath back then.

I started this letter while Ellie was in her combo PT/Speech therapy yesterday. This is going to be a LLLLOOOOONNNNGGGGG letter. Tomorrow I need to buy a binder, lots of pretty colored tabs, and more ink and paper for the printer.

Estate Planning - Or should we call it Procrastination Planning?

One of the first ten or twenty things we learned about after discovering Ellie has Down Syndrome was that when we re-write our will we need to create a Special Needs Trust for her. It seems that people with disabilities who are going to rely on Social Security and Medicaid and other state services are not allowed to have much, if any, personal wealth. By that I mean something like less than $2,000. But what exactly is a Special Needs Trust, and how do we go about writing one? If I remember correctly (mommy brain says, "don't quote me") $2,000 was the magic number when we applied for Medicaid in Alaska, and Virginia. Approved in AK, but denied in VA. That's another blog, ugh.

Back to Special Needs Trusts. I still don't know the exact answer to those questions. What I do know is that when we rewrite our will, which we've been putting off for 4 years now, we shouldn't name Ellie as a direct beneficiary. Nor should our family name her as a direct beneficiary. Once we have that Special Needs Trust we can have that Trust be our beneficiary. We can use trust money to provide various things for Ellie. I'm not sure exactly what. More things I have to find out.

Since it's so complicated and deals with the issue of what to do if we die early, I tend to put this off. That's not the mature way to handle things, but it's my coping mechanism.

Weird Conjunction of Events

So, I'm in Spinning Class tonight. Alex is at swim team, and Ellie is at her favorite place - the nursery at the YMCA. And I'm finally getting a workout - yippee! The Friday instructor plays an eclectic mix of music. In the middle of the class Kenney Chesney started belting out "I Go Back".

My own Time machine

If Doc Brown can make one from a DeLorean, I can make one from a Honda Odyssey. :) It's an easy recipe: Take one Honda Odyssey, and just add Ipod!

The kids like to watch a movie on the way to swim team. It's a 25-30 minute ride, each way, and usually the only tv time my son gets during the week days. So, I eat those "I'll Never Let My Kids Watch TV IN The CAR!!!!" words I used to utter. But, I get tired of hearing Tom and Jerry cartoons (their latest craze) over, and over, and over, and over, ad nauseum.

Now, I hope this isn't a rule breaker, but if it is, I just hope I don't get caught. I plug my Ipod in a toss one or two ear buds in I'm instantly transported. It's amazing how a song can take you back. The B-52's "Roam" instantly transported me to Lancaster County countryside circa 1990. I had graduated from college and had NO idea what to do with my life. I knew I didn't want to stay in Lancaster, but I was unsure of breaking out on my own. I would drive around the county, through corn and tobacco fields, past Amish and Mennonite farms still operating as they had for 200 years - no electricity, no indoor plumbing. I would search for a Turkey Hill and get some of their great iced tea, then drive on exploring the countryside.

I wondered what my future had in store for me? What do I have to offer the world, and what does it have to offer me? Where would I be in 20 years? I know the answers to some of those questions now. And those answers, especially the two sitting in the back seat, put a big smile on my face. I love my time machine!

Private Therapy vs. School Therapy vs. No Therapy

What to do? In Ellie's short 4 years of life, for a whole variety of reasons we've had our time in each camp. All in all I think private therapy is fantastic if you can afford it. For us - we do a combo treatment of PT which Ellie usually hates with Speech which she usually loves. This works well because the Speech Therapist distracts Ellie from the thing she hates that the Physical Therapist is insisting that she try to do "just one more time". I hear giggles and laughter down the hall. If it were just PT I can't imagine the fits she might throw.

The School District seems to think that Ellie doesn't need PT. According to their records she can walk down the hall, navigate her classroom and the playground so she's fine. Of course she can't manage the steps of the bus on her own, she can't balance on one foot, she only just started kicking a ball this week (Yippee), and she can't run, hop, skip, jump or navigate steep or rough terrain on her own. The list could go on, but I'll spare you. All of these are things that a 4 year should be able to do. So she receives no PT through the school. We are fortunate to have good insurance and we can manage the weekly co-pays. As a co-treat there is only one co-pay, so it does save us some money and gives us more bang for the buck as we only get 75 total visits covered a year.

Speech is the only therapy she receives at school. Of course her speech is so delayed I should hope so! She also receives the private Speech, and I am grateful for it. She is not so thrilled with the school therapist who focuses on oral motor, but she loves the private one. I am hearing an improvement (albeit slight) in her articulation. She talks a tin ear off you - but so much of it sounds the same that you have no idea what she said. We continue to use the sign language and have added so many new signs - including a push to use numbers and letters. It's amazing to see that she is learning to count and have letter recognition. I thank God for Sign Language every day! Our sign language has all be done at home. We were introduced to it through the Early Intervention group, but a friend introduced us to the program we use and love: Signing Time.

We had been on a waitlist for private Occupational Therapy for 9 months. We just got off the waitlist, but due to a rise in co-pays and a concern I have that we would max out our yearly limit of 75 sessions total I opted for every other week on the OT. We saw so much improvement over those 9 months without therapy that I am not totally convinced that Ellie needs or will benefit greatly from OT. She does have internal rotation of her wrists, but she does compesate well. She gets very defensive when I try to do hand-over-hand assistance. I keep trying :) and sometimes she allows my help. I don't know that there will be a much faster learning curve with therapy in this arena. She does need extra assistance in many self-care areas - of course the school doesn't recognize them - getting dressed isn't something you should be doing at school. So, perhaps we will keep Private OT, perhaps we will end it. Magic 8-ball says too soon to tell.

In my experience private therapy can be a great addition to what ever services the school does provide. but there 's a caveat. You have to look at the whole child and recognize that your child changes. What worked at the age of 2 doesn't work at 4 years old. Re-evaluate periodically and keep the lines of communication open with the therapists. We have done that when Ellie wasn't "clicking" with a therapist: we went through 3 Physical Therapists in 2 years in Alaska till we found the right one.

Bring Out Yer Dead!

Chicken Pox? But, I'm not dead yet!

So, we are resorting to the age-old custom of quarantine. Ugh. It's only Chicken Pox. When I was a kid, they sent you to school. Every kid should experience the calomine-lotion-crust-covered-itch-fest that is Chicken Pox. It's a rite of passage.

But not in this kinder-gentler-lawyer-driven world in which we now live. I was going to take my possibly (we still aren't certain it's Chicken) pox covered preschool daughter to an awards assembly. Her healthy big brother was receiving an award at his school today. He was so thrilled! He was crushed when yesterday I said, "Maybe I shouldn't go. Since Ellie might have Chicken Pox." His face fell to the ground. So, I lessened it by adding, "Well maybe I'll come. I could put Ellie in the stroller so she's not touching everything and everyone. Unless the Doctor calls and tells me otherwise." He perked up quickly. Getting sushi for dinner helped too.

So, Guess what? Today, Ellie and I were all ready to go. Took showers, got dressed up nice and pretty. We were going to drop books at the library and pick up some apples and things at the store, then head over to the school. Camera battery was all charged and everything was set.

You see, Ellie is not looking or acting sick. Well, except for the 2 dozen red dots all over her face. They aren't really anywhere else - excepting for one on her wrist, one on her collar bone, and a few in the diaper area. Ok, I guess there are a few more than yesterday's 1/2 dozen on her face. Hghmmmmmmmm......

My Doctor's nurse called an hour before we were going to leave. "How's Ellie?" I explained how she seems fine excepting for these little dots. "What did Doctor .... tell you yesterday?" I reiterated that we were staying home from school. My Doctor's office called me back within 10 minutes of my explaining how Ellie looked and felt (she is happy as a clam, eating well, playing, etc.) and that we were thinking of going to the Awards Assembly. "No, no, no.... " siad the Nurse. "Dr. .... said it's HGHLY contaigious. In a well ventilated building she could be on the first floor, and some one on the third floor could get her Chicken Pox."

Wow.

So, I hastily penned a note to my son's teacher. "Please tell him how SORRY I am!" And I sit, and eat chocolate, and blog. But not in my pajamas. We are all dressed up and nowhere to go.

In Memory of Dr. Cohen

I had the great pleasure of attending a lecture by Dr. Cohen last year. He was the keynote speaker at the Down Syndrome Association of Northern Virginia's annual meeting. Thankfully I made the trip with Ellie and attended the meeting. He spoke with honesty and humour about topics that can be uncomfortable for many of us: late potty training, eating and chewing issues, bowel and digestion issues, hearing and vision, sex education. The list went on and the questions didn't stop. Dr. Cohen kept up - patiently answering our questions while the littlest ones played in the background.

It was with great sadness today that I learned of Dr. Cohen's death. The community of families of people with Down Syndrome have lost a wonderful person. My condolences go out to his family and friends. He will be missed.

Entering the Internet is like...

looking at your reflection in a mirror reflecting a mirror. The reflections go on and on and on, until you get lost in the reflection.

Tonight I had the ?pleasure? of helping my son with his language arts homework. The dreaded simile/metaphor assignment. I recall these from my own childhood with the same dread and loathing as getting a cavity filled. The beautiful thing for this generation of parents is that we don't have to remember all of this esoterica. We can google it. So, off to to wikihow and WikiAnswers to find examples of similes and metaphors.

Metaphors and similes abound on the internet like dandelions on a roadside field. But all the examples in the world don't help when you are looking for the "right answer". How do you explain that there is no "right" answer to the simile/metaphor when writing a simile or metaphor? My son was completely stressing about this, and I was recalling my own child hood again.

Maybe it's all the wine. Maybe it's the age. Maybe it's all the crazy music I listened to as a college student that rewired my brain. Certainly it rewired my hearing - what did you say? In any event it has helped me to reconnect different pathways in my memory recently. As I watched my son struggling and stressing, I thought of the Infinity Mirror reflecting itself into eternity. Suddenly the mirror cracked - I realized it was the "right answer" problem.

"Are you lookng for the "right answer?" I asked with a little puzzled brow. Frustrated, he nodded to me. "Unlike Math facts, Science facts and even Social Studies facts, Language Arts doesn't always have a "right answer" you can study for a test. Language arts is different and more creative than the other subjects. With Similes and Metaphors there is a "right pattern" and as long as your creativity fits that pattern you get to have all the fun."

"But Mom, how do you know how Pablo smiles in the sentence "Pablo smiles when he sees Carlos and the girls?" A knowing smile warms my face as I reply, "Your simile will answer the how. You, the writer, get to decide, is it a happy smile or a Cruella De Ville smile?"

For a moment I wondered, is this mirror going to continue to repeat itself? Can I come up with another way of explaining this that will "click"? But my son looked out from the mirror and went, 'Ah-HA! I get it." I smiled and realized that maybe, just maybe, with age does come wisdom. Or is that with wine?

I tried to find the "right' image to accompany this blog but it's as elusive as the beginning or end of that infinity mirror. In my searches I have found lots of neat art from M.C. Escher and Manet.

Poetry for the. 21st century man. old is new - haiku.....

Many moons ago I started following this very cool science blog "Star Stryder". She Twitters, and of course they are on her blog side-panel. I noticed some time in the summer that sometimes they were in haiku. "How clever", I thought. She blogged about her haiku twitters.

It inspired me, and occasionally I've twittered in haiku. It's a great, and quick mental exercise. As a stay-at-home mom, I feel sometimes that my brain muscles are turning to mush. Talking to children all day, cooking, cleaning, paying the bills, laundry - these things don't tax my mind. At. All.

Blogging helps work that mushy brain, but it's like a power walk for a runner. The power walk is better than nothing but it sure isn't a good run. It just makes you want to work out more. A twaiku is like doing speed drills. You don't have to do a long workout, but the short bursts really pack a punch. In these fast-paced days with super-long to-do lists, we have a hard time fitting in a physical workout let alone a mental one. The twaiku may be just the thing to squeeze into your busy day.

I must admit, I haven't been twittering much these days. I lost my password somewhere in web and dust covered innards of my mental filing cabinet. Perhaps I saved it somewhere in a password file, but searching for it doesn't even making my to-do list these days. (more blogging on my organizational program for 09 in a future blog). For now, my twittering days have passed. After all the pre-election blog o sphere reading and 7/24 news feed, I went into computer detox. I do have two of my twai-kus that didn't disappear yet.

organization. two steps forward one step back. slow steady progress

cool crisp fluttering - red, yellow, gold, orange, brown - quiet peaceful woods.

I'm so glad as the top one reminds me why I'm not looking for that password, and the bottom one reminds me of the most beautiful Fall I have seen in many years. The best part: I didn't have to drive anywhere to see it, and it will grace my back yard every year. If I stay steady on the first twaiku I'll have time to enjoy the second one when it comes around again.

Down Syndrome is not a "One-Size-Fits-All" Tag

Some days I don't have to ask Alex, "How was your day at school dear?" These days are not frequent. My uber-typical son doesn't give me an impromptu discourse on the behavior and relationships of his classmates. No, I get the ad-libbed, extemporaneous monolog on the latest Xbox game and his various Lego weapons of mass destruction instead.

When I do get an unprompted discourse on his day at school I stop. I listen. I pray. I hope. Maybe. I. Have. The. Right. Response.

It happened when we were getting in the car to run errands. Maybe we were heading to swim team. I just remember he mentioned his friend "D" who had been over to play the week before. Mom, 'D' said that 'A' has her own language, and no one in class understands her. I don't think she has any friends, and I really hope that Ellie can talk clearly so that everyone can understand her. I don't want her to be lonely, and not have any friends in school." quick breath. "Mom, do you think that will happen to Ellie? I really hope she can learn to speak so people can understand her, and not have her own language that no one gets." Images are flashing across my mind like a dvd on fast forward. At the same time, these two big blue saucers of pain and worry are peering up at me and pleading with me to make his fears go away. Of course he has no idea that his words have sliced into the core of my very soul like a well-sharpened kitchen knife. What a clean cut. Take a deep breath. Say a quick prayer. Let it out.

The images are helping me. I'm remembering the Fall Awards Assembly. I arrived early. Let me write that again. I arrived EARLY. That doesn't happen. much. at. all. Just ask Alex. I got to sit in the front row. Right behind where Alex's class sat down. After all the classes arrived and were seated, then 'A' came in, and found her class. Alex's class. Their class is the Inclusion class for 4th grade. It's a potpouri of typical kids, ESL kids, Special Needs kids, and Gifted kids. It's taught by a Fairy GodMother - Mrs. T has just the right touch for each and every one of her precious charges. Talk about a gifted teacher!!

As I sit in the Awards Assembly I watch 'A' who you may have guessed by now has Down Syndrome. She walks across the room with that typical DS gait - forward leaning, lumbering, looks like she just might fall over any second. She is very excited to join her class, and as she heads their way, I hold my breath. I realize that my eyes are watering. I am worried for her. Does anyone want her to sit beside them? Or are they all hoping she'll sit some where else? Memories of my own childhood and the embarassment of being with the "labeled" kids is haunting me. As quickly as that gray cloud arrived, it is lifted. The sun is shining. It's a beautiful day. The most wonderful scene is right in front of me. A sweet classmate motions to 'A' to come sit by her. The little girl leans over and whispers to 'A'. She gives 'A' a quick hug, and fixes her hair. They chat for a few minutes with smiles on their faces and then sit quietly and closely as they watch the Assembly, clapping vigorously for all the awardees. 'A' receives an award and everyone claps for her. She heads up to the stage and smiles.

I give Alex a big smile. "Just because Ellie and 'A' both have DS doesn't mean that they are the same. Each person with DS is just as much an individual as any person without DS. Remember that Ellie is signing so very much and her speech is improving every day. Her future isn't written in stone, so we'll just have to wait and see. She is such a friendly, happy person I'm sure she'll have lots of friends as she grows up."

"You're probably right, Mom." The blue eyes look hopeful now.

Our Kids Grow Up So Fast

Dateline August, 2008
Charlottesville, VA
Part 1

When do our kids grow up so fast? This year Alex figured it all out. I mean, ALL. First, he comes to me with the Tooth Fairy. Then Santa and the Easter Bunny. The icing on the cake of growing up was to hit me square in the face on a sunny summer afternoon in Ruby Tuesday’s in Charlottesville VA. We headed out there for Ellie’s pre-op visit for her upcoming sleep study. That’s a whole ‘nother story. Stay tuned.

So, we are sitting down to eat a late lunch after our visit to University of Virginia’s Hospital. “So Mom, if in 2nd grade we learned how to make salmon babies when we went on that field trip. You know, they showed us how the male salmon swims over to get his white milky stuff near the female’s eggs which she lays in a safe area. And then they wiggle their tails around and swish it all up and they get together and a baby salmon grows?” Mom is swallowing hard, and starting to look for the well worn parent manual in her brain. It’s got some coffee stains on it, and the binding is broken now, but the pages are usually full of up-to-date information. Usually. Sometimes they are blank. Like Today. Rats.

“So Mom, are you listening?” Mom smiles brightly, “Yes, dear I’m listening.” Shifting nervously, and looking around to see just how crowded this restaurant is right now. Good, no one is sitting near us. All of the sudden a really late lunch is just perfect, I don't mind the empty pit in my stomach!
"So, Mom, if that’s how a baby salmon is made. How EXACTLY, does a human man get his white milky stuff to be near enough to a human female’s egg to make a human baby?”
THUNK! After I pick my jaw up off the table, I furiously look for that manual. Where could it be? “You don’t want to answer this question do you Mom?”

“No, Dear. I think that question, since you thought it out so thoroughly and asked it so well, deserves an answer. I just wasn’t quite prepared for it. I also wasn’t prepared to answer it here, in a public restaurant.”

Alex’s face falls. “But dear, since it’s not crowded, and you deserve an answer...I’ll do my best. I’ll answer just what you ask, and not go into too much detail. I don’t want to gross you out at lunch.” Too bad we live so far away, I could really use a drink with this lunch!

I think therefore I run

My small steps in running have grown over the past few months. I started out in March only being able to run 1 mile, and slow at that (12 minutes). Today I finished 7 miles at a 9:45 minute/mile pace with lots of hills and a head wind for the second 1/2 (it was a 3.5 mile road - I ran out and back). I set my sights on a goal - the Blue and Gray 1/2 marathon. I try to have patience and persistence. I also keep track of my progress. Each time I run, I log it. And when I couldn't run for 16 looooonnnnnnggggg days while some stitches healed, and I got a cold, and it became a sinus infection, oy vey! Well, I ate a lot of chocolate and forgave myself :). Then I got back out there and started running again, as soon as I felt good. I've been back at it for about 2 weeks and I am amazed that I didn't lose any conditioning. Woo hoo!

So, for those of you who are feeling disheartened by the enormity of whatever faces you. Try to keep it simple. Break the enormity into small steps. Then, chin down. Dive into the work. Track it. Be patient. Be persistent. Don't get ahead of yourself. Stick to the small steps you broke out. Then wait awhile. Really! Imagine you're making a loaf of bread and it needs time to rise. Did you ever bake a loaf of bread from scratch? It really does take time to rise. So, wait awhile. Keep at your planned small steps. Wait awhile longer. Then, look back at where you started. Look at where you are. You will be amazed at what those small steps can accomplish.

Have a great day, and thanks for stopping by.