Sunday, December 28, 2008

Our Kids Grow Up So Fast

Dateline August, 2008
Charlottesville, VA
Part 1

When do our kids grow up so fast? This year Alex figured it all out. I mean, ALL. First, he comes to me with the Tooth Fairy. Then Santa and the Easter Bunny. The icing on the cake of growing up was to hit me square in the face on a sunny summer afternoon in Ruby Tuesday’s in Charlottesville VA. We headed out there for Ellie’s pre-op visit for her upcoming sleep study. That’s a whole ‘nother story. Stay tuned.

So, we are sitting down to eat a late lunch after our visit to University of Virginia’s Hospital. “So Mom, if in 2nd grade we learned how to make salmon babies when we went on that field trip. You know, they showed us how the male salmon swims over to get his white milky stuff near the female’s eggs which she lays in a safe area. And then they wiggle their tails around and swish it all up and they get together and a baby salmon grows?” Mom is swallowing hard, and starting to look for the well worn parent manual in her brain. It’s got some coffee stains on it, and the binding is broken now, but the pages are usually full of up-to-date information. Usually. Sometimes they are blank. Like Today. Rats.

“So Mom, are you listening?” Mom smiles brightly, “Yes, dear I’m listening.” Shifting nervously, and looking around to see just how crowded this restaurant is right now. Good, no one is sitting near us. All of the sudden a really late lunch is just perfect, I don't mind the empty pit in my stomach!
"So, Mom, if that’s how a baby salmon is made. How EXACTLY, does a human man get his white milky stuff to be near enough to a human female’s egg to make a human baby?”
THUNK! After I pick my jaw up off the table, I furiously look for that manual. Where could it be? “You don’t want to answer this question do you Mom?”

“No, Dear. I think that question, since you thought it out so thoroughly and asked it so well, deserves an answer. I just wasn’t quite prepared for it. I also wasn’t prepared to answer it here, in a public restaurant.”

Alex’s face falls. “But dear, since it’s not crowded, and you deserve an answer...I’ll do my best. I’ll answer just what you ask, and not go into too much detail. I don’t want to gross you out at lunch.” Too bad we live so far away, I could really use a drink with this lunch!

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